SuperBabies:
Baby Geniuses 2 (zero
stars)
review by Jon
Waterman
“Baby
Geniuses” was so groundbreaking and awesome,
that it was just begging for a sequel. Well, for the two people
that asked for it, aren’t you regretting your decision
now?
Quick overview of the plot: Kane is an evil media mogul who
wants to control the minds of children through his new hypnotic
cable channel. Kahuna is the original superbaby who has been
around since the 60s (still a baby, mind you) fighting his
arch-nemesis, Kane. This time he can’t do it alone. He
needs the help of a new group of Superbabies.
Instead of describing in laboring paragraph form why this
movie sucks, I present you with a list in no discernable order.
1.) They use the same main kid from the first in a different
main role
2.) The aunt and uncle of the lead from the first movie don’t
call attention to the resemblance
3.) The aunt and uncle are Vanessa Angel and Scott Baio
4.) Jon Voight is the media mogul with a hideous German accent
5.) The baby has a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” like
ooze that he drinks to become super powerful.
6.) He has a stupid motorized tricycle that also acts as a
helicopter
7.) Whoopi Goldberg makes a cameo
8.) Reality show boy band O-Town makes a worse cameo
9.) Kahuna’s hideout is this Neverland Cave thing minus
the rides and toys, but plus a moat deep enough to drown the
kids if they misbehave.
10.) The babysitter is supposed to be the smartest girl in
school, but in reality she’s just a dumb blonde.
11.) Kahuna’s hideout is located in the “H” of
the Hollywood sign, which is accessible by driving through
a secret entrance located in the front.
12.) After showing a vehicle drive in, they pull out to reveal
the Hollywood sign, which obviously has no room for a driveway
leading into the “H” of any sort.
13.) The computer composting of the Kahuna’s head onto
the fight stand-in’s body is just as bad if not worse
than in the original.
14.) The fight scenes are more unbelievable.
15.) It’s less funny than the original, which is saying
a whole lot.
16.) The acting is too over-the-top, even for a silly kids
movie.
17.) The new set of babies aren’t interesting
18.) The superpowers of the new crew enter into the equation
way too late in the game (try last scene).
19.) In terms of script, there’s no development of anything
anywhere.
20.) Do you really need a 20th reason?
Well, on the plus side, I have to say that the triplets playing
the Kahuna do have a good screen presence. But that’s
not enough to warrant wasting time and money on this garbage.
Maybe your kids will like it? I couldn’t imagine anyone
with an attention span good enough to watch this would like
what they saw. It don’t get much worse than this.
respond to jon@filmbrats.com
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