Snakes
on a Plane (*1/2)
review by Jon
Waterman
In Hawaii, Eddie Kim arranges to have a man killed. What he
didn’t plan for was to have some cool dude named Sean
witness the whole thing. Now Kim wants him dead, and he’ll
go to any length imaginable to make it happen. FBI Agent Neville
Flynn gets to him first and is able to get Sean aboard a cross-ocean
flight to Los Angeles where Sean will testify and finally put
that madman behind bars. Unfortunately, the trip won’t
be nearly as smooth as they all think, because it’s soon
discovered that Kim has thought ahead. He has put snakes on
the plane!
The movie that the studio has actually been proud to promote
as a B-movie delivers exactly what it promises. This movie
is unusual. It’s certainly bad in a campy fun way, and
any audience you see it with knows going in not to expect Oscar
worthy material and they will gladly laugh along with you at
the absurdity of it all. The producers knew it was being constructed
in this way. It had to be if it were to work at all. The amazing
part is that it somehow avoids coming off as a spoof or a rip-off
of bad movies and actually becomes its own legitimately bad
movie. But dammit if it ain’t fun to watch anyway.
Even more shocking is that the script is about as air-tight
as the plane itself. They seem to think of just about every
angle. Just when you think you’ve found a glaring plot
hole, they fill it up with a giant raft. If only the dialogue
were as smooth. This is where the “B” shines. Think
of just about every conventional plot device you know and every
hokey line of dialogue you can think of and you can bet that
most of them will be in here. Yet, somehow it’s not totally
predictable.
And it’s because it’s not completely telegraphed
that the film is funny. Sure there are a couple of legitimately
funny lines, mostly delivered by Keenan Thompson’s bodyguard
character, but most of the humor comes from the ridiculous
situations and in when and where the snakes attack the passengers.
Real thrills are few and far between, which is rather disappointing.
I would have loved to see some legitimate scares in the midst
of it all, or at least some really lame ones. All the snake
stuff was too standard (assuming there is a standard for cinematic
aeronautical serpent attacks). Samuel L Jackson is in top form,
however.
What can I really say that the title doesn’t? You should
know right away if you want to see this movie at some point.
Trust your instincts, but watch out for things crawling under
you seat.
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