The Pink
Panther (1963) (*1/2)
review by Jon
Waterman
A mastermind thief dubbed The Phantom is still at large, and
there’s good reason to suspect he’ll attempt to
strike again soon. Princess Dala is visiting a winter hot spot
and will be attending some elite soirees. She’s at risk,
because with her is the famous pink panther diamond, a very
large, valuable stone whose only flaw is a slight bit of coloration
in the shape of its namesake. These parties always act as a
catalyst for The Phantom’s heists, but luckily there’s
a detective on the case. The bumbling Inspector Jacques Clouseau
is at your service.
Simply put, this film is not funny. I think the Phantom stole
all the jokes before they had a chance to be filmed. Contemporary
audiences looking for a film that stars Peter Sellers will
be surprised that they don’t find it here. Oh, he’s
in the movie quite a bit, but he takes a backseat to virtually
everyone else. That’s not what makes the movie bad, although
seeing as how he’s the only likable character and we
hardly get any worthy screen time with the Inspector doesn’t
help. The problem is that it’s billed as a comedy, yet
there are very, very few jokes. If you were to simply read
the script, you’d be hard pressed to find any lines that
stray from a typical crime caper with a love triangle (or parallelogram
as it were). The only comedic situations come from the sparse
interactions with the clumsy Clouseau. And if you don’t
think slapstick is funny, then there is absolutely no chance
you will laugh, because that’s 99% of the humor.
So, as a comedy, it doesn’t quite accomplish the goal.
As a crime picture, it screams of mediocrity. There’s
little intrigue that actually intrigues. The characterization
never really fully develops the way it should. The heist and
chase aspects are mundane and way overblown. Nothing was really
able to captivate me for the dragging 113 minute running time.
The saving grace should be the acting, but the performances
aren’t all that great either.
No, instead the film is pulled off the mat by the instant
classic theme music by Henry Mancini (“Charade” “Days
of Wine and Roses”) and the interesting and clever title
sequence featuring a cartoon pink panther wreaking havoc on
the credits. Somehow the film held my attention throughout,
but it certainly didn’t hit me the way director/co-writer
Blake Edwards (“Breakfast at Tiffany’s”)
intended. The movie is largely disappointing and surprisingly
boring.
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