The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (1/2 star)
review by Jon Waterman

A group of legendary characters from around the world work together to track down and defeat an evil genius attempting to start a world war.

This league is formed of the most classic literary characters in history. Under the command of Allan Quatermain (Sean Connery) are Captain Nemo (Naseeruddin Shah), Mina Harker (Peta Wilson), Rodney Skinner as the guy who stole the invisible man’s formula (who knew – played by Tony Curran), Dorian Gray (Stuart Townsend), Tom Sawyer (Shane West) and Dr. Jekyll along with alter ego Mr. Hyde (Jason Flemyng). Each brings a unique ability to the table. It’s pretty much “Mystery Men” all over again, only we now have pre-packaged literary legends instead of created superheroes and the humor is unintentional.

The dialogue sounds like it was lifted straight from the comic book it was based upon. Now, I haven’t read the comic, but let me explain. The interchanges between characters are clunky and awkward. This is not meant to insult the writers of the comic, it’s meant to point out the difference in style. Acted spoken words work much differently than written words that one reads. Screenwriter James Robinson may have been trying to make this movie a more accurate adaptation, but instead gave us unusual and shoddy dialogue. Not only that, but some of the situations are just downright absurd. I’m sorry, but just because you may not have seen a car before, doesn’t mean you can defy the laws of physics by jumping out of one at high speeds and magically land on the ground without tumbling or even having to run. That’s bull. I’m all for suspension of disbelief (I’ll grant the dual Hyde monster premise and all of that “good” stuff), but keep it reasonable, please.

The special effects were abysmal. Easily the worst I’ve seen in a contemporary film. Movies from the 80s had better computer graphic effects than this hurried piece of suck. It’s as if they didn’t even try. Maybe they didn’t have the budget, but if they didn’t, then why try to pass off some second-rate hack job as the real deal? Ugh. Makes me sick that these people may still be working in the city as “professionals.”

The acting sucks. The plot sucked. The effects sucked. The boring movie seemed incredibly longer than it actually was. I hope it wasn’t the intention of this film to encourage people to read the books these characters came from. I have a feeling such a boring, poor quality movie will deter anyone from wanting to learn more about these characters’ solo adventures. I bet the comic is far superior and wittier and would actually spawn some interest in the classics. To sum up: Worse than “The Hulk,” but not by much.

respond to jon@filmbrats.com