Just Married (*)
review by Jon Waterman

Sarah and Tom have had a perfect relationship so far. After being together for a little less than a year, they decide that nothing can end that happiness and, so, get married. They’re off to Europe for their honeymoon and, uh oh, mishap after mishap ensues. What shall come of this marriage if the zany adventures don’t come to an end?

The story is told as a flashback. Tom sits at his radio job as a traffic reporter (a detail completely irrelevant to understanding anything about him) and remembers the horrible events that took place prior to his return. The movie works just as well, if not better if told as a straight narrative. The beginning of the picture lets us know that the two are on the rocks. If that realization is brought about nearer the end of the film, we, as an audience may care more. Instead we are sitting there waiting for this falling out to occur.

I’m really beginning to question the appeal of goofball, prat fall comedies such as this one. As a general rule, physical comedy is only funny when there is an element of surprise. This particular script, written by Sam Harper (“Rookie of the Year”), tends to set up the joke for about a minute or two with verbal and visual clues, thus stripping the joke of any actual effect. Had all of this been cut out, the film would be about a half hour shorter, and only slightly funnier. Surprisingly, I don’t really care about the unbelievability of the situations. I’ll let it all slide based on the concept of “suspension of disbelief” and the fact that I’m talking about a nonsense comedy.

Everything about this film could be called sub-par. Shawn Levy’s (“Big Fat Liar”) proves that pacing and coaching actors are not his strong suit. I’ve mentioned the script. Ashton Kutcher (Tom) feels that the only way to get a joke out is to yell it at the top of his lungs, which is something he learned from Adam Sandler and then butchered. Brittany Murphy (Sarah) has the goofy grin thing going but comedic timing isn’t a strong suit for her either. I felt the chemistry between the two characters worked well, even if I didn’t care about them at all.

Perhaps I was pulled out of it, because the commercial shows all the jokes. However, I didn’t laugh at the commercial, either. Not only that, but if the thirty second spot gives away the “best” parts, then how good can the movie be to begin with?

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