Jason X (1/2 star)
review by Jon Waterman

The only thing you need to know about the plot is that “Evil gets an upgrade.”

The reason I say this is because none of it makes sense, so why try to understand it or describe it.

Person A:  Jason’s in space.
Person B:  How’d he get there?
Person A:  He was frozen.
Person B:  Was he frozen from the start?
Person A:  No.
Person B:  Isn’t he supposed to be dead already?
Person A:  Yeah, I think so.
Person B:  Well, how do they explain him being alive?
Person A:  They don’t.
Person B:  That’s dumb.
Person A:  Yeah.

Here’s what you should know.  Anyone could have written this script.  I bet you can figure out how it ends right now if you tried.  However, it was written by one of the cast members.  I don’t know which one.  Not only do I not care about the characters, we also were not really introduced to them to begin with.  No big loss.  They’re just going to die eventually anyway.  And, we probably won’t be seeing them in many more movies, either.  Well, we may see Kane Hodder (the guy in the Jason suit) again if they make an eleventh movie.  And we’ll probably see David Cronenberg again, but I hope it’s behind the camera rather than in front.

It was directed by James Isaac (his only other directing effort came in 1989 with “The Horror Show”).  Goodbye career.  That’s something I could say about a lot of people in this movie.

I don’t really want to waste my time writing about this dumb movie.  I don’t want to waste your time by having you read it.  Yes, it’s bad.  It’s really bad.  But, it has two redeeming qualities.  1.)  The camp scene is intentionally funny.  2.)  You can make fun of the stuff that is unintentionally funny.

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