FILMBRATS - REVIEWS

Lincoln Six Echo and Jordan Two Delta live each day like the one before it. They get up, put on the same clothes, eat their prepared meals, go to work, and watch the lottery. The lottery is a system that chooses one lucky inhabitant of society to move out of their enclosed colony and onto “The Island.” The island is the only part of the world that has avoided contamination, but space is limited. So, everyone stays in this ultra sterile, supposedly utopian society until his or her time comes. Well, as you can probably guess (especially if you’ve seen ads for the film), there is no island. The people here are all clones and are only there so their organs can be harvested. Our heroes don’t like this idea so much, so they go out into the real world searching for their real-life counterparts in hopes that they will help.

Doesn’t that all sound exciting? No? Well, what if I tell you there are all kinds of explosions and car chases and gunplay and stuff? Still no? Well, trust your instincts. The movie is severely flawed. Written by Caspian Tredwell-Owen (“Beyond Borders”) and Alex Kurtzman & Roberto Orci (TV’s “Alias,” “Legend of Zorro,” M: I-3”), the script fails to really garner any reasonable pace, excitement or interest. For starters, going in we already know these people are clones, so why act like it’s some big secret for the first half hour. It’s boring just waiting for something to happen. There’s no point in putting us in their shoes, when we already know what the real world has in store for them and how an actual society would react to their existence. Playing the film in this way ruins any chance for suspense or for emotional connection with the characters. And the dialogue is full of crappy clichés and worthless exposition.

As bad as “The Matrix” is with the whole philosophy thing, it still does a better job than “The Island.” In fact, most movies do a better job. You’ve seen all this stuff before. This film is essentially a clip show of all kinds of standard situations with a nice heaping glaze of dull. Here’s what I think should have been done with the film. Split it into two parts. The first is a straight-up comedy about what it’s like to be a clone in a pre-established society, where the climax/ending is that they break free into the real world. The whole society breaks out. Hollywood would turn the second film into a typical fish out of water thing where you watch the funny stuff happen as they adapt to the real world. Screw that. I want the second film to be about how society adapts and reacts to this whole hoard of people suddenly appearing and wanting to integrate into their world. Imagine what would happen when clone meets real. I’m sure it’d be much better than what we’re exposed to in this film – the standard fighting so the bad guy doesn’t know which is which crap.

Avoid this film. It’s pure schlock, and it’s not even fun schlock. The action is actually pretty good and the car chases are amazing, but that’s really all it has going for it. Who wants to sit through 136 minutes of drudge just for some great highway action? Might as well watch “The French Connection” or “Ronin” instead (and actually “Matrix Reloaded” has pretty comparable explosions, even if that chase isn’t as thrilling). Hell, watch anything else instead. After all, this movie is just a clone of every other action flick.

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