Freddy Vs. Jason (**1/2)
review by Jon Waterman

Because the “Pinhead Vs. Chucky” script was taking just a little bit too long in development, we get those other horror guys fighting each other. How this ends up working is like this: Freddy has no power, because no one fears him anymore. He gets Jason to come back and kill kids on Elm Street instead of his usual Camp Crystal Lake. People get afraid and they can both kill. However, Jason starts taking too much glory and, as we all know, the slasher game is all about greed.

The film is full of problems. Where to start.... Where. To. Start.

I could start from the opening credits, which contain the most annoying, pointless, laughable musical cue possibly of all time. But that one little thing gets overshadowed by all the other plot points and lines of dialogue that just make you go “What the….” The characters somehow figure out absolutely everything that’s going on no matter how absurd and then explain it to all of us even though we already know what’s happening. Not only is it repetition, its ridiculous repetition. Ridiculous, ridiculous repetition. I didn’t understand why the stoner guy became a main character half way through. Yeah, they utilized him, but when did he get to be close friends with those preppy kids. Another thing, Freddy only kills kids, right? Apparently, he gets his power from their fear. What’s the cut off point? How old is too old. Once you graduate high school you’re free? Why doesn’t Freddy go after the second graders like he did when he was alive and leave the dumb cheerleaders alone.

On the plus side, the movie seems to realize the humor in most of what it does. The battles between the two evil monsters turn into excuses for jokes mixed with a little bit of gore. And all of the horror flick staples are firmly in place: Sex, nudity, parties, ignorance, falling down and a whole lot of blood and gore. However, the film truly lacks any inventive deaths. It feels like a waste, considering Freddy’s nature. He appears in dreams and can do basically whatever he wants. But people still die in rather straightforward ways.

Another positive element is Robert Englund’s acting. He’s been playing the role for a long time and the facial expressions he makes are genuinely funny and thus, good. I cannot say the same about anyone else. I won’t be the first to say this, but I’m against the trend of “musicians” turning into actors. There are thousands of students out there that could do better and these singers are already making enough money on their own. The same goes for actors turned musicians. Anyways. The cast sucked.

“Freddy Vs. Jason” gives you everything you’d expect. You’ll laugh – sometimes intentionally, others not. You may get scared a little bit – sometimes from the film, others from thinking about how much money these people got paid to work on this thing. Overall, you’ll have a lot of fun.

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