Dot the
I (1/2
star)
review by Jon
Waterman
On her Hen Night (bachelorette party for readers in the US)
Carmen is forced to kiss a stranger in a restaurant (it’s
tradition). The kiss turns out to be something extraordinary,
something unexpected, something that neither can forget. Carmen
rushes out of the restaurant to escape, but that young man
(Kit) is able to find her later on. Armed with a video camera,
in order to save a potentially fleeting moment, he attempts
to start up any type of relationship. Carmen is torn between
this fun-loving, exciting new guy and Barnaby, the dull, rich
man she loves stuck back at home.
Here we have the psychological thriller that couldn’t.
Written and directed by first (and hopefully last) timer Matt
Parkhill, everything that was supposed to shock or amaze or
twist or blow you away just completely fizzles out like static.
Besides the insanely predictable plot, the movie also suffers
from some of the worst dialogue I’ve heard in a very
long time. Clichés and cheesy lines abound, especially
in the beginning. One could make an argument that knowing the
end, that sort of make sense, but it doesn’t matter.
That kind of material draws me right out of the excruciatingly
long 92-minute picture.
The acting was equally abysmal. Natalia Verbeke (Carmen) has
a couple good scenes, although really I just mean facial expressions/reaction
shots. The rest of her performance is rather blah. Although,
considering that English isn’t her native language, it’s
a little more impressive. Also taking on English as a second
acting language is Gael García Bernal (“The Motorcycle
Diaries”, “Bad
Education”) as Kit. He handles
the nuances of the language quite well, but placed in such
a humdrum story, his proven talents essentially go to waste.
Worst of them all is the unbearable James D’Arcy. It’s
pretty easy to see why up to this point he’s been a forgettable
television actor. His performance was incredibly forced and
painfully stagy. He exuded the subtlety of a rhinoceros with
as much charm.
Not everything about the movie was incredibly terrible. The
cinematography by veteran Alfonso Beato gave the film a little
promise. Also the division and utilization of both film and
video, which was so integral to the story, turned out surprisingly
well. But that’s about it. The editing was unnecessarily
choppy and the throw back shots to previous moments in order
to clarify what we already knew in the first place (or could
remember on our own) edged on downright insulting. I mean,
they replayed an entire scene that had just happened to show
us another “twist” in that scene. And I basically
knew that twist before the scene happened the first time. Simply
pathetic.
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