Bend It Like Beckham (* 1/2)
review by Jon Waterman

An Indian girl loves nothing more than playing soccer with her friends. One day, she is given the opportunity of a lifetime when a girl offers her a position on the all-girls team. However, she must keep her organized sporting activities secret, because it goes against her traditional parents’ wishes. She now must balance a double life without getting caught.

My main problem with the film is not that she does get caught. It’s that she gets caught so often and with no new elements added. The movie becomes just as repetitive and pointless as a soccer match that ends in a tie. The title “Bend It Like Beckham” obviously does not refer to any unforeseen plot twists. She lies to her parents. She gets caught and has to stop playing. She finds a new lie and plays again. She gets caught and has to stop playing. Repeat for nearly two hours. The stakes are never raised. The worst thing that could happen to her for lying is that she’ll get yelled at again. I felt like all the obstacles that get in the way were created merely to add length to the film. It would have been much better as a half-hour short. The pace was ridiculously slow at times, but maybe it only felt that way because I was watching the same sequence of events for the third or fourth time.

The soccer games weren’t very exciting, either. Instead of seeing how the game was played out, we are shown a series of close-ups that are pieced together to create some action. Supposedly, the girls were trained for the film, but you could never really guess it, because we never get to see any substantial moves from either of the two main roles. Why not show off that training by treating us to full body shots of people kicking the ball to each other and into the net. I don’t want to see a close up of the ball getting kicked, and then have the camera take the place of the ball as it goes into the goal. That’s just cheap.

To the film’s credit, though, the acting is not bad. None of them truly stand out and amaze, but you can’t expect award quality performances out of a family film. Instead, I’m happy to report that even the supporting characters act naturally. Anyone familiar with this type of movie knows that the smaller roles tend to be over-exaggerated and can be unbearable to watch. There is only one time when I was cringing at the acting. At the very beginning, the mother hams it up, but to the film’s defense, it was part of a dream sequence and thus could be over-played to emphasize that fact. It’s just a shame the worst bit of acting comes at the start, when people are most judgmental.

Some people like soccer. Some don’t. Some people will like this movie. Others won’t. I can tell you right now, it’s not funny. It’s not even really that cute. It’s a typical family film with above average acting. The kids might like it, but the parents will probably be bored to tears.

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