Hey everyone I'm back with a swarm of new stuff for you. Most of what I have for you is less than stellar, including the extremely disappointing Inside Man. What a pile that turned out to be. But there is saving grace in the form of Dave Chappelle's Block Party. I'm very surprised this didn't do much better in the box office, especially when something like Medea's Family Reunion can grab the Number 1 spot. Granted I haven't seen the latter, but the previews looked horrible. Anyways, I'm going to get more reviews to you soon. Here's what's on deck: Brick, From Justin to Kelly, The Jacket, Munich, One Day in September, and Unknown White Male. If all goes according to plan, expect another update before the end of the month. Keep coming back.


Inside Man
Review by Jon Waterman

1/2 star

Troubled detective Keith Frazier is brought onto the scene when a bank robbery turns into an armed hostage situation. These aren’t your typical thieves. They’re out to conduct the perfect heist. All the details have been worked out. All contingencies accounted for. Every loose end will be tied. But they don’t count on Detective Frazier’s quick thinking and sheer determination. And neither of them count on Madeline White, who’s brought in to protect more than just the contents of the bank by any means necessary.

I’m trying to make this movie sound somewhat interesting, although I really shouldn’t be building any false hopes. Is Spike Lee really that desperate to have a mainstream hit? The writing is shoddy; the acting falls far short; the cinematography is everywhere except where it needs to be; the structure and score need major retooling; and Lee’s social commentary needs to be scrapped.

If you think my writing is bad, then check out the horrible dialogue Russell Gewirtz (failed TV series “Blind Justice”) slapped together.
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+++++++


Dave Chappelle’s Block Party
Review by Jon Waterman

***1/2

Dave Chappelle’s throwing a party and you’re all invited. Popular comedian Chappelle has gathered some of the greatest contemporary names in hip-hop and R&B to perform in an event of a lifetime. On a stage in Brooklyn New York, a large crowd flocked in for free from miles around to see acts like Kanye West, Common, The Roots, Erykah Badu, Mos Def, Dead Prez and more. But it’s not all music, because Dave himself comes out in between acts and keeps the crowd entertained with his unique style of riotous comedy.

You wouldn’t know it from watching, but Michel Gondry (“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”) is directing. You’ll find absolutely none of his patented filmmaking flair. There are no camera tricks to speak of, no digital manipulations of time and space, no crazy edits, nothing particularly visually stunning at all. And to be honest, I like it better that way. Instead of turning the concert into one a long form version of his awe-inspiring music videos, he simply makes sure the camera is pointed in the right direction to capture exactly what we want to see and some things we didn’t know we wanted to see.
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+++++++


Testosterone (2005)
Review by Jon Waterman

**

While on military leave, Petros heads to the small island where he spent part of his youth in order to pick up the car left by his grandfather. He wants to quickly get it and go so he can hop on the boat and head off to a nice hedonistic town with the hopes of scoring with scores of hot young women. Well, the car doesn’t quite work and he gets stranded on the island longer than he wants. What he discovers however, is that he’s the only man on the island and the women want to fulfill his lustful fantasies. Petros finds himself in way over his head. Can he find a way to leave the island? Will he even want to?

The answer to that second question is yes, and a big reason as to why this movie really fails. I can understand how having absolutely every woman on the island try to get you in bed would be a major problem and would make anyone want to get away. There are a lot of uggos in the world, and Petros seems like a “no fatties” kind of guy, too. But even in the beginning, he’s trying to escape. That I don’t understand. His whole purpose is to get the car and leave to a place where he can have sex with hot girls. Here, he’s stuck with his relatives and happens to have sex with hot girls, but he’s still trying desperately to get away.
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++++++


Roll Bounce
Review by Jon Waterman

*1/2

A group of young teenage guys known as the Garden Boys are the superstars of their local roller skating rink. Unfortunately, that rundown place is soon after closed, and the boys are forced to travel farther to the glitzy hang out that is home of the greatest skater in all the land, Sweetness. The boys have to adjust not only to the new rink with some real competition, but also with a new neighbor girl, Tori, being thrown into the mix. Can these kids win the respect of the town and maybe even win a competition with so much riding against them?

This movie is too long for no good reason. We’re subjected to 112 minutes of dragging subplot after dragging subplot with a hint of main story mixed in. You have the narrative thread of Xavier (“X” to his friends, played by Bow “Like Mike” Wow) running into his “X” girlfriend Naomi at the new rink. You have X’s father searching hard for “M” ployment and all the neighborhood women trying to get him back into the dating scene. You have too many encounters with the garbage men, whose scenes should have been thrown away. You have the new neighbor girl who ultimately serves absolutely no purpose at all. I’m sure there’s more, but who cares.
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+++++++


Roller Boogie
Review by Jon Waterman

1/2 star

The Roller Boogie contest is only a few days away and everyone on the boardwalk is training as hard as they can. Some, like Bobby James, are pushing themselves extra hard in the hopes of becoming an Olympic contender. Others, like Terry Barkley, just want to be noticed. The two motivations collide as Terry escapes from her unloving rich parents to slum it with the roller skaters. Along the way, she hires James to teach her some of his dynamite moves. But there’s a bigger problem than two young kids from opposite sides of the tracks getting together. Greedy goons are threatening to shut down the skating rink where the contest is to be held unless the owner ponies up the dough. Only the power of skate can save them now!

Director Mark L. Lester lacks luster in this slap dash transparent attempt to quickly capitalize on the popularity of roller skating and disco music. The movie starts out a big pile of cheese as roller skaters roll through the teenager filled streets while showing off their magical abilities to jump and land…ON WHEELS! I don’t think you understand, guys. Humans weren’t born with wheels. This is amazing. Well, as they ride backwards and keep their balance, everyone they pass becomes enthralled, and since they already of course have skates on, and join the ever-swelling herd of wheeled sheep as they reach this parking lot thing equipped with barrels and cones for them to bust some groovy moves. The scene culminates with an appearance by none other than Jumping Jack Flash! Yeah, I don’t know who that is, either. This guy in a pink jumpsuit with a long an aviator skull cap and a purple bandana sticking out like a cape never lets you know. He’ll never be seen again.
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