I told you I'd be back, and I am. Here are the last three reviews that have been sitting around waiting to be written. Now, I'm free and clear for the festival. Like I probably said before. I'll be seeing a lot in the next couple weeks (right now I have a dozen screenings planned), so this site will be plenty busy. You won't want to miss it.



The Brothers Grimm
Review by Jon Waterman

Zero stars

Brothers Jake and Will go from town to town vanquishing various spirits and monsters. They’re regular “Van Helsing”s. In exchange, they are made the toast of the town and are handsomely rewarded. But it’s a con. They use props, special effects and hired hands to fake a problem that they can fix. Well, soon their reputation catches up to them and they are faced with what is either the best con they’ve ever seen (and didn’t produce) or an actual living breathing fairy tale. Either way, it’s threatening everything they live for, as well as their lives.

The first thought walking out of the theater was “I just wasted two hours of my life.” That was followed by dumbfounded attempts to understand what would make anyone think that this movie was worthy of release. To claim that the movie is bad would be a gross understatement. For me, this goes into the annals of the worst of all time along with the likes of “Freddy Got Fingered,” “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider” and “Mission to Mars."
(more....)


++++++++++


Ken Park
Review by Jon Waterman

***

Ken Park goes skating in the local hot spot like he always did. This time, he sits down on one of the concrete hills, pulls a video camera and a gun out of his backpack and shoots himself. Shawn is having an affair with his girlfriend’s mother. Peaches has a boyfriend, a wild side, and an ultra-religious, overprotective widowed father. Claude’s father (who thinks skateboarding will turn his son gay, if it hasn’t already) beats him while his apathetic, pregnant mother sits there. Tate lives with his board game playing grandparents who don’t respect his privacy or his psychotic artistic vision.

“Ken Park” is not so much the story of the title character, but rather about the different paths kids of his clique take when dealing with life. His suicide isn’t as much a factor as the opening would have you believe. It’s not mentioned in the film, and it doesn’t need to be. These young teenagers have their own struggles and inner demons to worry about. There’s a part of me that doesn’t like that the stories don’t intertwine.
(more....)


+++++++++


Golden Balls
Review by Jon Waterman

1/2 star

Benito has a dream. I’d call it the American dream, but he’s in Spain, so I won’t. But the same concept applies. He’s looking for massive wealth and power. For a while, he’s all talk. That is, until he finds out that his best friend is sleeping with his girlfriend. He disowns both of them and with nothing left to lose, he dives head first into his newly formed business. Soon, he’s making deals and becoming the biggest real estate developer the country has seen looking to build the tallest building the country has ever seen. In business, you need “Huevos de Oro.”

What an odd, pointless exercise of a movie this is. There’s nothing here of any substance or meaning. There’s also nothing here that allows you to connect with the picture in any way. Benito is a reprehensible, smarmy guy that we are forced to follow around. His self-centered, womanizing, ignorant attitudes are not fun to watch at all. I honestly didn’t care about him enough to enjoy his rise to power or enough to take pleasure in his weak moments.
(more....)

Well, it's been a month, but I kept my promise. Below you'll find my reviews for "2046" and "In the Mood For Love." I'm frantically working at cleaning out my inbox, because the Chicago International Film Festival is starting this weekend. I'll be seeing a lot of movies, so this site will be plenty busy. But before this Friday even hits, you can reasonably expect to see reviews for "Ken Park," "The Brothers Grimm" and "Golden Balls." Maybe another one if I'm really good. I'll keep you posted on all the festival happenings that I attend. So, keep coming back. The end of the year crunch starts now!



2046
Review by Jon Waterman

***

Mr. Chow is back. After the events of “In the Mood For Love” left him embittered, he began a life of decadence and womanizing. His days consist of writing articles for various magazines and creating all kinds of pulp fiction. His nights consist of making each new girl he meets his latest conquest. Enter Bai Ling, his neighbor across the hall. She is the most difficult challenge he’s encountered so far, but Mr. Chow is determined to break her. Both of them cautious and aware yet seem oblivious to what they really might mean to each other.

Even though it’s a sequel, it’s a pretty far departure from the first film. The cinematography still has some of the cryptic compositions, but this time it’s much more vibrant and, in my opinion, lively. It focuses more on the characters. However the set pieces look incredible and allow you to become fully immersed in the story much easier. That’s definitely a good thing, because the movie’s tempo doesn’t play through any faster
(more....)


++++++++++


In the Mood For Love
Review by Jon Waterman

**1/2

Mr. Chow moves into an apartment complex with his wife. Shortly thereafter, Mrs. Chan moves in to another room with her husband. The two go about their daily lives and mostly keep to themselves. The landlord tries to get them out and socializing (especially cooped up Mrs. Chan, whose husband is away on business most of the time), but to no avail. Well, time passes and it appears that the two shy neighbors have something in common. Both have suspicions that their spouses are cheating on them. Slowly they start to build a friendship that grows stronger as they unravel the truth and then attempt to face it.

Acclaimed writer/director Kar Wai Wong (“Chungking Express”), brings us a completely unorthodox romantic tale. He toys with the audience’s emotions and with the timeline. The movie moves in chronological order, but does so in staggering steps. You’re rarely sure how much time has passed between two consecutive scenes.
(more....)


++++++++++


A Dirty Shame
Review by Jon Waterman

*

Baltimore is under attack. But it’s not through guns and violence or corrupt political practices. No, the city is being over-run by hypersexual misfits. Led by Ray Ray Perkins, this free love bunch is out there trying to convert people to the ways of perversion. The cult feels they are on the cusp of discovering a brand new sex act, which would lead them to a utopian existence. Enter Sylvia Stickles. As her name suggests, she’s something of a prude. That is, until she suffers a concussion. Now she’s one of them, and could quite possibly hold the key to the pink gate.

“A Dirty Shame” is an extremely appropriate title, because that’s the way I feel about the film. It’s a dirty shame that legendary shlock writer/director John Waters couldn’t deliver a better movie. I can’t help but think how much different and better this movie would be if Divine were still alive.
(more....)